I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
