can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
