please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I can't turn off my feet"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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