some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
