All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
