If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize