So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
