You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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