i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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