he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
How external is "for external use only"?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
