I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
