We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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