good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Still dying that you shit outside
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I FOUND THE LEGS
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
