just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
