i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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