just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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