I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize