As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
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It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
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I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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