Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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