If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
