my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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