the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
