Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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