is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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