Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
