I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
