I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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