They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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