How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it hurts more in the daytime
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this boner is exhausting
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
