we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You're like the curious george of whores
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
