we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
