i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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