Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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