this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
