I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i was born a porn star she said
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your cock deserves a montage
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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