What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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