I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
