That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize