If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
