im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
