it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
