Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
