problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
