obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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