Fuck appropriateness.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
