My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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