Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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