please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
