Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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