I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
