I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
