i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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