areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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