Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize