Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
