just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
