its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
