plz talk dirty to me
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
