You can't special order awesome
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
