hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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