just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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