You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
