ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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