Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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