At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
