it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
