and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
