Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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