he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
