Why does Corona taste like a burp?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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