Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize