Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
