Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
