Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
