): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
