She said her name was "party"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
