He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.  Â
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we're so committed to being not committed
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
